#6

A little less than a year ago I woke up from a dream startled and anxious. In the dream I was standing in Silverton, my neck craned back as I marveled at the mountains surrounding us. “We’re running to the top of that?” I said as I pointed up to high ridgeline. There was no reply even though I was standing near many other folks apparently at the start of a run. “Just go slow.” I turned to see Peter as he finished by telling me “you’re ready, you have nothing to worry about.” Then, suddenly I was moving, along with everyone else and that was it, the end of the dream. That morning of the dream I told the other guys about it as we headed off up the trail for one of our runs. “How can you have anxiety about something you’re not even entered in?” Greg remarked.

Now as I sit here two days away from the start, staring at the waitlist, the anxiety I’m feeling is 10x that which I was feeling a year ago. Back in January after the lottery I started at #33 on the list, gradually moving up until I was sitting in the top 20. Then about a week and a half ago I began a freefall every day moving closer to the top of the list until I stopped at 6. Now I wait until tomorrow afternoon and find out if I’m in or not.

We arrived this morning in Silverton and I can’t possibly describe the beauty of these mountains. My words would not do them justice. On the way out of Grand Junction this morning I could see a shadowy saw blade appear on the horizon as we drove south. I knew what I was looking at but the closer I got the more in awe I became. Driving up Red Pass my anxiety dissipated and I exclaimed to the rest of the car “I want to run, I want to get in”. I got part of my wish this afternoon when I ventured up the Ice Lake trail toward Grant Swamp Pass. Now I just hope the second part comes true…