When Nightmares become Reality

The Yellow Gate
PC: Sherpa John


Yesterday, I received an email that began as follows:


dear eric;

it is my unfortunate duty to inform you that your name has been selected for the 2016 barkley marathons, to be held on april 2-4, 2016, at frozen head state park, in the state of tennessee, usa.

it is anticipated that this enterprise will amount to nothing more than an extended period of unspeakable suffering, at the end of which you will ultimately find only failure and humiliation. 

And the encouragement continues for a few more paragraphs......

It all started a few months ago when I wrote the following essay, as part of my application to be considered for entry to the Barkley Marathons:













WHY I SHOULD BE
ALLOWED TO RUN THE 2016 BARKLEY MARATHONS





Why?  



I’ve thought long and hard on what I should write for this
essay.  Should I make a list of all my
running and physical accomplishments? 
Should I be clever and witty? Maybe I could wax long about my incredible
mental toughness? An idea would be to detail the rigorous, strenuous and over
the top training program that I am putting myself through to prepare.  Did I mention that I am friends with Jared
Campbell and he will surely enlighten me with his top secret, sure-fire,
guaranteed recipe for Barkley success?



The reality is, I really have no business attempting the
Barkley Marathons.  I’m not more talented
than most of the runners, I don’t have an extra-ordinary amount of grit and
gumption (compared to everyone else “Out There”), my training program is probably
less involved than most, and while Jared is a good friend, his only top secret
advice is to be down to earth and brutally honest about how difficult The
Barkley is and what his own short comings are.



I have been intrigued with Barkley since Jim Nelson first
told me about it while we ran a portion of my first Wasatch 100 together in
2005.  I have dreamed (nightmared) about
it since Jared told me he would be attempting it for the first time in
2012.  I shed tears and shared in the
accomplishment of some incredible feats of endurance as I read your Tethered
report of John, Jamil and Alan completing a Fun Run with minutes to spare in
2014. 



And that is the
moment, while reading Tethered, walking a slow, painful, 2 mph, ankle
reconstruction recovery pace on a treadmill in my basement, that is the precise instant, when I knew
that one day, through your graces or not, I would stand at the Yellow Gate,
ready to get the living hell squeezed out of me.



That is Why.




The lottery was held, and I found myself at #11 on the wait list.  That's a pretty good spot to be in, but there was no guarantee that it would get me there.  I started training like I was in, and as the weeks went by, I began to wake in the middle of the night, with feelings of panic, wondering what in the world I was doing, putting myself into this situation, and how I would ever be prepared. 



Which brings me to last night. The Letter of Condolences. And that's when the Nightmares became Reality.  



If you don't know much about the Barkley Marathons and would like to learn more, here is an excellent website, and here is an excellent 20 minute documentary.